After being on a journey of self-exploration and positive manifestation for years now, I’ve made massive leaps forward with healing. It’s amazing how refusing to think of yourself as sick can change things. Some serious conditions of mine are clearing up. Others have lessened in severity. This progress with healing my body has taken me deeper into myself, and with every twist and turn, I gain understanding about what is and isn’t working for me.
For that reason, I’ve been stepping back from social media. With new scandals, attacks, shootings, and other horrors happening on a regular basis, it’s exhausting to keep speaking out. I don’t have the answers to these societal problems. I wasn’t built for expressing outrage. I’m an upbeat, optimistic person with a dark sense of humor, and I’d rather express my true self through my work versus social media, where people seem to be offended by the silliest of things these days.
I realize this isn’t any new observation. I’ve struggled with social media for years, cutting it out entirely between 2011 and 2013. My new goal isn’t to delete my presence from the web but rather to shift the perspective and make my lifestyle a closer match to the dream that’s truest to my heart. There’s a reason some of the creative people I admire most happen to be the ones who’ve distanced themselves from the online world, instead focusing on the work and keeping the majority of their private thoughts their own.
Maybe things will calm down in the future, but for now, limited involvement seems the best route. It’s hard because interacting is fun. Despite being introverted and enjoying solitude, I have a deep hunger for satisfying human interaction. I hope that by distancing myself from social media and detoxifying my world, I can raise my vibration and begin to attract a happier and more authentic life experience.
My fear? If I’m not constantly reminding people of my existence by tweeting, I’ll be forgotten. But fear is the opposite of abundance. I won’t let it run me.
There’s another aspect, too. Whenever I do express an opinion, I’m pummeled by the gut feeling I’m missing a bigger opportunity. Almost as if saying things directly somehow lessens the impact of my message, and by channeling my opinions into my art and writing, I’ll be able to expand the reach of my voice. Or rather, through the power of manifestation, I can ensure the messages I have to offer this world find the minds of the people they were always meant to reach. I’m not sure that will ever happen if I keep immersing myself in the negativity of social media and lowering my vibration to the point I become sick.
I’ve taken many twists and turns and spun out in so many circles on this creative path. Sometimes I feel like a loser, a failure, a freak. Most of the time, I feel blessed that I’m given these dreams and this inner world that is so beyond description. Blessed to be a rare and strange soul who isn’t afraid to walk alone. In all this time, through so many dizzying circles, I haven’t let my dream die. I’ve carried it with me like a flashlight, turning it on whenever I need hope in the dark of night. Sometimes, I see it like a light shining down on me through the trees, broken by a scatter of branches but there waiting for me whenever I’m ready to climb higher.
Today, I’m choosing to climb. The light is shining bright, and I have more hope than I’ve felt in a long time.