Writerly Wednesday: Letting People Read Your Sex Scenes

Since it’s almost Valentine’s Day, this #writerlywednesday I thought I’d talk about something that has been on my mind since I began writing: sex scenes.

I always knew that sex would be included in my writing. I like raw, emotional stories with both fantastical elements and a realistic edge. Even when I don’t show sex, my characters talk about it openly. Why wouldn’t they? It’s a part of the human experience. It’s the same with drugs. Or violence.

A simple truth about writing is that people are going to witness the stuff you think about. With sex scenes, you’re giving them a view into some small part of your erotic mind. Sure, I could sit down and piece together a scene that wasn’t at all based on my own desires. But what fun is that? Not that I’m an expert on writing arousing sex scenes or anything. I just figure if I’m turned on, someone else might be too.

That’s why it’s creepy to think about family members reading it.

There are a few routes you can take with this:

  • Conform your writing to a standard you feel comfortable sharing.
  • Write sex scenes, but tone them down as much as you can.
  • Adopt the life of a hermit and put out freakier sex scenes with each book.
  • Take the IDGAF approach. Write what you want. Get as freaky as you want. If it ever gets brought up, be willing to talk about it openly, because it’s your scene. You should be proud of it.

I’m pretty down with the IDGAF approach. Whether there’s anything “freaky” in Edge of Something More (my previously published book) is a matter of perspective. There’s what I would consider a normal amount of sex and sexual talk. My other books will probably have more. I’ve grown and matured a lot since I started working on this book many years ago.

I don’t think my parents have read much of my writing, but they know it includes this sort of content, and they don’t care. I am lucky to have a pretty laid-back, liberal family. No matter what, they are supportive of me working hard toward something I believe in. Plus, I was pretty wild when I was younger, so the fact that my stories show sex and drug use isn’t that much of a surprise to anyone.

In life, you have to do you. I’ll continue to write what I want and hope it finds its way into the hands of those who will enjoy it as much as I do. That’s all I really care about.

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Writerly Wednesday: Stalling and Revving Up

As I enter my second month of having a book on the market, the world stalling comes to mind. When you first release your book, it’s all excitement, big dreams, and blog tours. You’re getting interviewed, your book is getting attention, and then … nothing.

Stalling Out: Entering the Dead Zone

There comes a point when you’ve already recommended (*cough* begged *cough*) everyone you know to buy your book, and there’s no one left to ask. You’re blogging, tweeting, using Facebook, posting on forums, and doing everything else you can think of to remind people that you do indeed have a book for sale. Yet, sales are slumping. You’ve begun stalling out, and every time you check your Amazon page and see a worsening sales rank, your dreams of success begin to look more like nightmares of

dawn-nature-sunset-woman

Want to learn who your true friends are? Publish a book.

failure.

What if no one buys your book? What if sales get so bad that no respectable publisher in the industry dares take a chance on you again? What if you fail completely?

All of these fears are valid. It’s not like you’re a big-name author with offers to appear on numerous talk shows. If you’re like me, you have ONE book out. One. And while marketing a book is and always will be a continual work in progress, you also have a day job. Maybe you have a family, or a partner, or some form of a social life. And on top of all that, you still have to accomplish the most important thing you will ever do as a writer: finishing your next book.

Revving Up: Kind of Like Stalling Out, but Fancier

The truth is that I have no idea how to sell books. I’m sure I’ll learn a thing or two in time, but it’s all a huge experiment. However, I know the most important thing I can do right now is work on my next book. I stalled, revved my engine, and now I’m 25K into a new romance. I’m in love with the characters. The setting thrills me. When I’m writing it, the words flow naturally. I had the same feeling while writing EDGE OF SOMETHING MORE, and while it might not be a best seller just yet, I still believe in it.

Happy #writerlywednesday everyone!

Writerly Wednesdays: Cultivation

This is my first attempt at a #writerlywednesday! I’m going to aim for twice a month. Sometimes, the world of copywriting calls, and I have to focus on maternity clothing or bail bond companies. Today, I got to write about Burlington, Vermont, and how amazing it is there. I love my day job. It’s like traveling. I’d still rather spend my time writing novels, and whenever I can, that’s what I’m thinking about.

Word of the Moment: Cultivation

I’ve been abusing this word lately. I want to cultivate. I want the visions to become clear, prayers to be answered, and the path to make itself obvious.

nature-sunset-person-woman

What are you cultivating?

I want something to continue to fruition and explode all over my world. I want to write books—so many books.

Romance Stuff: A Sexy Travel Adventure

I started a new romance novel this month. I was working on the paranormal love story, but I kept getting the nagging feeling that this wasn’t the time. It’s one of the ideas I’m most excited about, but it’s complicated. I want to make sure I get it just right. There’s going to come a time when I’m flooded with inspiration for it, I’ll just have to reconnect with the muse.

I started thinking about my trip to Asia. As I mentioned in my blog about packing light for Thailand, I didn’t bring a camera along on my trip. The memories are getting further in the distance. I don’t want to lose them, so why not use them to influence a few blogs–or a new book?

This was one of those instances when I just suddenly saw it. Sometimes I see a single character like that, or a scene, but this time I saw the whole story. Probably because I had my real-life experiences to base it on. The characters will follow a similar path through southeast Asia, but I won’t say more, because it still has a long way to go.

Happy #WriterlyWednesday everyone! 🙂

Andi