Monday is my 34th birthday, and on paper, I’ve accomplished nothing.
Actually, if we’re being technical, I’m going in reverse. I once had a book deal. I once had a cool apartment in Denver. I once had a plan for my life that looked different from what is currently happening. To quote one of my favorite romantic comedies: I am “Benjamin Buttoning.” And you know what? I’m okay with it. Sometimes you have to back up if you want to get on the right path again.
How Book Deals Disappear: What Happened with GMMG
As some of you might already know, my publisher, Georgia McBride Media Group (GMMG), who owns both Month9Books and Swoon Romance, dropped many of their authors recently. There was a lot of scandalous craziness going on with the situation, but I don’t see much point in focusing on that negativity any longer. Other people can investigate if they want to, and if you’re interested in learning more about what happened, here is an article. I’ll just say that it wasn’t working out anyway, and I’m happy to be able to start over as an indie author.
I should have known that I was always meant to be an indie. I want the freedom to release books on my own schedule with my own covers. I want to set my own prices and have access to my sales. I still have no idea how many books I sold. I’d guess it isn’t many, but still, I’d like to know. I don’t do well with being kept in the dark about things, and I’m pleased that I’ll never have to deal with that again.
Still, I’m not bitter. It’s hard to shift your perspective when you had hoped something would be your “big break,” but it can be done. This experience gave me a place in the writing world. I can walk away and wish everyone involved the best.
What Happens Next: The Future Feels Much Brighter
I have to sign a bunch of paperwork to get the rights to my book returned to me. That paperwork will be taken care of within a week or two. As soon as GMMG stops selling the book and takes it down from Amazon, I’ll be free to self-publish. However, I don’t believe I will be putting Edge of Something More back on the market, heartbreaking as it is.
Instead, I’ll be moving away from contemporary romance and focusing instead on fantasy and supernatural subject matter.
In Conclusion: My Thoughts on My Birthday
So yes … I’m about to turn thirty-four, no longer a published author, and on paper, I’ve accomplished nothing. I also have more freedom and opportunity than a lot of people my age, and for that I’m very grateful. I’m like a thousand high-quality parts that are just sitting on the ground in a big room waiting to be assembled. I’m not sure what this fully formed me will look like or if I’ll even live long enough to see her in the mirror. But I will keep working on building myself. I refuse to let a terrible experience bring me down.
I want to thank everyone who has offered me love, support, and friendship during this rough time—especially my fellow authors. Getting closer to a lot of you guys was the best part of this entire experience. I feel blessed to be part of such a supportive community.
UPDATE: It’s now 2020, and I’m going back over some of my old blog posts. I’m happy to report that I’ve continued with my writing career, and my fantasy novella BEYOND MY DYING MIND is available now on Amazon.
Stay tuned for more!