Writerly Wednesday: Letting People Read Your Sex Scenes

Since it’s almost Valentine’s Day, this #writerlywednesday I thought I’d talk about something that has been on my mind since I began writing: sex scenes.

I always knew that sex would be included in my writing. I like raw, emotional stories with both fantastical elements and a realistic edge. Even when I don’t show sex, my characters talk about it openly. Why wouldn’t they? It’s a part of the human experience. It’s the same with drugs. Or violence.

A simple truth about writing is that people are going to witness the stuff you think about. With sex scenes, you’re giving them a view into some small part of your erotic mind. Sure, I could sit down and piece together a scene that wasn’t at all based on my own desires. But what fun is that? Not that I’m an expert on writing arousing sex scenes or anything. I just figure if I’m turned on, someone else might be too.

That’s why it’s creepy to think about family members reading it.

There are a few routes you can take with this:

  • Conform your writing to a standard you feel comfortable sharing.
  • Write sex scenes, but tone them down as much as you can.
  • Adopt the life of a hermit and put out freakier sex scenes with each book.
  • Take the IDGAF approach. Write what you want. Get as freaky as you want. If it ever gets brought up, be willing to talk about it openly, because it’s your scene. You should be proud of it.

I’m pretty down with the IDGAF approach. Whether there’s anything “freaky” in Edge of Something More (my previously published book) is a matter of perspective. There’s what I would consider a normal amount of sex and sexual talk. My other books will probably have more. I’ve grown and matured a lot since I started working on this book many years ago.

I don’t think my parents have read much of my writing, but they know it includes this sort of content, and they don’t care. I am lucky to have a pretty laid-back, liberal family. No matter what, they are supportive of me working hard toward something I believe in. Plus, I was pretty wild when I was younger, so the fact that my stories show sex and drug use isn’t that much of a surprise to anyone.

In life, you have to do you. I’ll continue to write what I want and hope it finds its way into the hands of those who will enjoy it as much as I do. That’s all I really care about.

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